Quest for the Treasure of Essen Spiel

Greetings! I am the all powerful wizard, Lorna, here to detail my account of our party’s quest for the treasure of Essen Spiel. Our adventure began with the arrival of all party members: our leader, the sorcerer, Mad Ted, his trusty companion, Toni the rogue (how we let the rogue be in charge of accounting for the treasure, I’ll never know), the Barbarian half-orc Chris (who was sent by the Princess Jennifer from a far away land to collect treasure), and our ever noble Paladin, Bryon the not so tall.

We had all agreed to meet at the tavern, Bezier Games in Essen. I D-Doored into Amsterdam via my magic KLM spell and there met Mad Ted and Toni. We ran into two other sorcerers while in Amsterdam Jonathan and Kris on their own quest. We then took Mad Ted”s magic carpet the rest of the way to Essen.

Upon arrival at Essen, the Tavern Bezier was in shambles. Using Mad Ted’s magic and the brute strength of the half-orc and paladin we went to work repairing it. Here is the rest of the party

and the one with me

It was a struggle to create the extra dimensional space to store all of Mad Ted’s creation Suburbia but we managed to find space for two pallets. Ted’s other creation Mutant Meeples had not yet arrived which was a bit worrisome but he assured us it would be there the following day after a few more spells.

We retired to our humble loft for the night. Comfy but 5 levels up the tree without an elevator spell in site. I nearly failed my climb roll several times but the noble Paladin assisted by carrying my heavy valise.

The next day we arrived at the tavern, still the Mutant Meeples were not yet there so we went off to gather information on the treasure. Mad Ted and Toni, the rogue, went to work setting up some alluring spells and snares in the press room to get other adventurers to stop at the Tavern Bezier. We chatted with other sorcerers. The sorcerers Lamont, at the Fragor Tavern had created Spellbound, an item so large we needed a portable hole and a bag of holding to carry it in. I also stopped by to greet my friends, the gnomes of Japon Brand whose new invention Trains, I admired greatly.

Back at the tavern the Mutant Meeples had arrived! Now to create yet more extra dimensional space to hide them in.

Then we were off to meet other adventures at the Essen Warm Up Day tavern. We arrived on Mad Ted’s magic carpet and parked it in what appeared to be a safe cavern with a secret passage down to the tavern. Inside was a feast and adventures were exchanging maps and spells as everyone readied for the quest. Mad Ted stayed late teaching his new Suburbia.

The rest of the party headed for the magic carpet. We arrived at the secret door. It wouldn’t open. We looked for more secret doors and found some but the wouldn’t open either. We thought, perhaps a magic ticket spell would somehow assist us and the paladin went off to get on one from Mad Ted. I studied the architecture. I located the gaping opening to the bottom of the cavern. It was dark and me without any light spells. I used a tongues spell and read the warning on the wall of the cavern. Parking lot closes at 2000 hours. It was 2130. The rogue and I looked and around at the barbarian and the paladin. and here we did that terribly wrong thing. WE SPLIT THE PARTY. the half-orc and paladin went to the east. The rogue and I studied the secret doors. and guarded the entrance to see if any monsters entered or left the cavern opening. The half-orc came back with out the paladin. The rogue, half-orc and I decided to enter the cavern. We couldn’t find the paladin. We couldn’t send him a message spell either. The cavern was dark, a few other adventurers joined us briefly but were lost in a side passage. We bravely fought monsters and made it to the top. We grabbed the magic carpet but alas a gate spell prevented us from leaving. We realized the paladin held the gate card spell. The half-orc stayed to guard the carpet and the rogue and I snuck back down the secret passage to find the paladin. I searched the grounds while the rogue held the secret door ajar. No paladin. Then Toni and I decided that she would wait at the bottom and I would use my elevator spell to check out the side passages. We put up a message spell. I went up a level, no paladin, another level, no paladin. But wait! My elevator spell ceased to function and I was caught in the level between passages. An anti-magic zone! I had to scramble to dispell it and get my elevator spell working again. Whew. I decided to leave off searching on my own and went back to check on the rogue. We worked at messaging Chris. We got through but he hadn’t seen the paladin yet. Our only guess was that the paladin had decided to fight his way to the top alone. We waited, success! We received message that the paladin had found the magic carpet! Unfortunately we had to wait a bit longer while the paladin and the barbarian figured out how to use the magic gate card to bring the carpet down to us. We eventually arrived back at the tree loft. 4 tired adventurers. And the moral of the story-don’t park in a parking lot unless you know what time it will close and DON”T SPLIT THE PARTY.

The following morn, we set out on our quest for the treasure of Essen. It was a mad scramble to find clues to the treasures. My map to Al Rashid was incorrect with the wrong booth number and I had to message the publisher for the correct coordinates. I was able to get my hands on the very heavy Terra Mystica but my strength 10 was failing. I needed more bags of holding! The half-orc was near mad from trying to locate all the treasure requested by the Princess. I assisted him as best I could, deciphering maps and messages he could not understand.

Selling at the Tavern Bezier was going well. I returned to teach other adventurer’s how to use Mad Ted’s Suburbia by the end of the day we were essentially sold out of Suburbia. Sales of his Mutant Meeples was also going well. As we closed the tavern and looked at the massive amount of treasure collected, we lamented the fact the the magic carpet could not carry all the loot of the 5 adventures and the adventurers themselves, so the barbarian and I had to find other transportation back to the loft. Then of course we had to get the treasure to the loft! The fifth level had never looked so far away. I wished I had memorized the tensor’s magic disc spell and mass flying. My feet felt like I’d walking on the spike spell all day and it had only been the first day of the quest. Some of my treasure looked like this


The next 2 days we had more teaching of Mad Ted’s inventions and more treasure quest. I was exhausted and decided to leave the foreign land and head home to my own abode. I could carry no more treasure. I snuck out early and tried not to wake my fellow adventurers. Trying to carry 2 large valises full of treasure as well as my backpack and a carry-on down five levels was to be quite a trick! I took down one at a time. The only draw back was having to climb back 5 five levels again. I think I took about 6d6 worth of damage all together. I wished my party members well to complete their quest while they remained under a sleep spell

Now that I’m home again, I’ll be sharing my treasure with more tales to follow.

About lornadune

Board game enthusiast
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8 Responses to Quest for the Treasure of Essen Spiel

  1. Dale Yu says:

    This is awesome. Of course, it will make my recap look so boring and un-cool ;)

  2. huzonfirst says:

    Absolutely hilarious, O Powerful Wizard! Clearly, you have made your scribe success roll! A critical hit, dare I say!

    And see, your mother was wrong–all those years of playing D&D were NOT wasted!

  3. lornadune says:

    Glad you enjoyed it :)

  4. Bay says:

    By far the best Essen report ever, Lorna. +1 for using the word “valise”!

  5. Ben (chally) says:

    Lorna, Lorna, Lorna. NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY!

    If nothing else, think of the poor DM scurrying from group to group, trying to recall who is where and what they know. No doubt the anti-magic zone was just a caltrop thrown up in haste to provide a moment’s breath.

    But, from here at least, the treasure was assuredly worth the adventure. Good job!

  6. Fraser says:

    I think more about your mispent, or not, youth today Lorna ;-)

  7. Fraser says:

    I think I learned more… that should have been

  8. painkeeper says:

    This is the most awesome article I read since the moment I spent 2 skill points to get rid of my illiteracy. Which, to be honest, happened quite recently.

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